Finally

Finally, after a long hiatus...I am talking again.

There have been some changes lately about my attitude towards keeping goals, shifting priorities, own happiness vs. other people's happiness, and the serenity in acceptance - that life is short (and sometimes uncooperative) for me to attain my long list of what-i-want-to-do-with-my-life.

Now is the time to reconsider other people's advices.

Now, I've reached to that realization that too much idealism can lead you to frustration...that you cannot have both worlds at the same time. Now, I am only "doing" - and not "expecting" anymore. Just believing on what I am doing.

I am taking quite a leap now...one at a time.

I finally succumed to the thought that I need to watch my diet and kick my butt towards the gym. It's a gamble - whether I can truly shred out this stubborn fats or not cos I am meant to be like this forever. I am now spending everyday at least 60-min non-stop on the Cross Trainer. A friend of mine once told me that it's not good to over-workout the body because it will sometimes lead to a mental disorder. Hehehe. Whatever!

I am finally (and seriously) considering to leave my present job within this year until next year. This thought badly hurts. I have one of the world's exciting jobs (enough to leave me every day fulfilled), but not enough to financially compensate and sustain my other goals and those people who rely on me for support. Leaving this job means giving my back on a career that I once dreamed of.

I am finally delimiting my goals - making it practical and realistically attainable. And while I am now taking steps to realize these goals...it scares the shit out of me. Suddenly, I become nostalgic and starting missing what is, afterall, un-missed.

Am I making the right choices? Do I have enough guts to explore by myself a bigger world -to a path of uncertainty?

**and so I pray**